Jaded
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Losing control
This entry is an extensive elaboration in relations to my previous blog entry. It basically act as an instrument for me to unleash all the wrecked up emotions flowing through my blood vessels and into my head for the past one week or so. I hope no one reads this entry because i do not wish for any one to be exposed to my hideous writting.
I'm sure everyone has their fair chances of meeting people who has such infuriating character that even Mother Theresa or Gandhi himself would be annoyed if there's ever a chance of them interacting with them. Okay, i know that's not possible but its the best analogy i could think of now. I pride myself to have rather established control over my emotions nowadays, especially if i were to compare with my character in the past. But this person just infuriates me so much... Half the time i have to control myself so as not to scream at that person or tell that person to shut up but of course i can't because it is not the right thing to do. I've to look at the bigger picture and swallow all these emotions and total rage and that is not the easiest thing for me to do right now. I need an outlet, i need a release! God, i need to be away from that person but i can't because apparently, it is these 'experiences' that makes me a better person. What doesn't kill me makes me stronger right? In this case, if this goes on the way it is or gets worse, someone is going to get hurt, be it me or some unfortunate soul that crosses my path.
I'm still quite sane... just had to vent some frustration out before doing my work again.
I'm sure everyone has their fair chances of meeting people who has such infuriating character that even Mother Theresa or Gandhi himself would be annoyed if there's ever a chance of them interacting with them. Okay, i know that's not possible but its the best analogy i could think of now. I pride myself to have rather established control over my emotions nowadays, especially if i were to compare with my character in the past. But this person just infuriates me so much... Half the time i have to control myself so as not to scream at that person or tell that person to shut up but of course i can't because it is not the right thing to do. I've to look at the bigger picture and swallow all these emotions and total rage and that is not the easiest thing for me to do right now. I need an outlet, i need a release! God, i need to be away from that person but i can't because apparently, it is these 'experiences' that makes me a better person. What doesn't kill me makes me stronger right? In this case, if this goes on the way it is or gets worse, someone is going to get hurt, be it me or some unfortunate soul that crosses my path.
I'm still quite sane... just had to vent some frustration out before doing my work again.
How bad can life suck? You can count on it to be a living hell!
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Q: Have you meet people who brings out the worst in you?
A: I Have.
Feel and panic in the air,
i want to be free from desolation and despair,
i can't get it right...
Monday, March 05, 2007
Pieces don't fit anymore
Came across this song by James Morrison, a fantastic singer. Fell in love with this voice and the song after i've listened to it.
Pieces Don't Fit Anymore (James Morrison)
I've been twisting and turning, In a space that's too small.
I've been drawing the line and watching it fall,
You've been closing me in, closing the space in my heart.
Watching us fading and watching it all fall apart.
Well I can't explain why it's not enough, Cause I gave it all to you.
And if you leave me now, oh just leave me now.
its the better thing to do,
Its time to surrender, Its been to long pretending.
Theres no use in trying, When the pieces dont fit anymore,
Pieces dont fit here anymore.
You pulled me under, I had to give in.
Such a beautiful myth, Thats breaking my skin.
Well i'll hide all the bruises, I'll hide all the damage thats done.
But I show how Im feeling until all the feeling has gone.
Ooh don't missunderstand, How I feel.
Cause I've tried, yes I've tried.
But still I don't know why, no I dont know why.
III dont know why...... whyyyyyyyy!
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Nearing the end of the road
The 13th annual student conference is drawing close but we are not done with our research yet!!! Literature review, methodology, data analysis, results, discussion and conclusion are left undone... My team and i are gonna die from stress and be buried under all the journal articles and data from the hospitals.
I think i'm overworked to the point where i have been sick for a week and i've yet to recover. The virus in my body is having fun with evolution, from a bad sore throat to a combination with flu and now, it has become really bad flu and cough. I have been refusing to go see a doctor despite my parents' fervent reminders, because i've faith in my own immune system. Now, after one week, i'm not so sure anymore... If it doesn't get any worse, i'm not going to see my GP.
Final 6-weeks clinicals are in 3 weeks time, graduation is in July... and i'll be a working adult in no time. The past three years have flew by and the changes i see in myself are tremendous. Well, at least i think i've changed for the better. No longer as narrow-minded, no longer finding faults in others and no longer an extreme workaholic as i used to be. I've learnt to appreciate life, the people and the things i have around me. Must say that I'm happier than i used to be although i believe it can be better. I'll just have to see what life has installed for me after i graduate.
I think i'm overworked to the point where i have been sick for a week and i've yet to recover. The virus in my body is having fun with evolution, from a bad sore throat to a combination with flu and now, it has become really bad flu and cough. I have been refusing to go see a doctor despite my parents' fervent reminders, because i've faith in my own immune system. Now, after one week, i'm not so sure anymore... If it doesn't get any worse, i'm not going to see my GP.
Final 6-weeks clinicals are in 3 weeks time, graduation is in July... and i'll be a working adult in no time. The past three years have flew by and the changes i see in myself are tremendous. Well, at least i think i've changed for the better. No longer as narrow-minded, no longer finding faults in others and no longer an extreme workaholic as i used to be. I've learnt to appreciate life, the people and the things i have around me. Must say that I'm happier than i used to be although i believe it can be better. I'll just have to see what life has installed for me after i graduate.
Current Development Stage Transition of Miss Jessica Hooi
(based on Erikson's 8 stages of dvpt)
Adolescent
Identity vs Role Confusion
Tries integrating many roles (child, sibling, student, athlete,worker) into a self-image under role model and peer pressure
TO
Young Adult
Young Adult
Intimacy vs Isolation
Learns to make personal commitment to another as spouse, parent or partner
Personal Mantra (from now till graduation):
"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger"
Thursday, March 01, 2007
Reason to be an Occupational Therapist
This video sums up why i am an occupational therapist.
Watch it! :)
Watch it! :)
