Jaded

School has finally started again after 4 weeks of hellish clinicals and 1 week of "holiday"... I'm still swarmed with endless reports and presentations and my plans of going on a holiday in May are postponed due to unforseen circumstances. My blog has been on hiatus for some time not because i've nothing to write about but because my entries for past months have been way too depressing... I wasn't even aware of it until after i read through my past entries a few days ago. It's depressing just to read what i've wrote past few months and i wouldn't my friends who are reading my blog to have their moods affected by it...

My one month clinical experience was hell... Having to work with people that i can't communicate effectively with, people who have the innate nature to impose their ideas and mindset on you, people who loves to stab you in the back, people who are oh so 'understanding', people who made me cry when i'm back home in the showers every single day. I came out of this clinical attachment with 3-quarter less of confidence and self-esteem and a whole lot of self-doubt and tons of questions left unanswered. I'm not so sure whether this course that i'm in has more benefits on me or is killing me slowly every single day. Looking at my worn out self in the mirror every morning and seeing some of my classmates getting more depressed everyday have left me to ponder,