Jaded

I should be happy... I should be celebrating since its my last week of placement and i'm one step away from graduation and independence. But i'm not happy at all... There's just so many things happening around me that is inducing depression and wearing me out. My grandmother's recent passing, my parents incessant, nonsensical argument, my family breaking apart... I'm so sick and tired of all these... I'm so sick and tired of trying to mend, trying to piece these things together. I'm sick and tired of being calm and composed, maintaining rationale thoughts. I'm sick of being caught in the middle and being forced to choose. Why can't things just go back to the way it was? Weren't we happy? Why can't everyone just get pass these little things and move on? Why am i the only one who is making all these desperate attempts to hold this family together?

Maybe i shouldn't try anymore, make all these feeble attempts when no one really cares... Maybe its time to give up and go our seperate ways...