Jaded

I've always pride myself for being calm and cool at different situations... but guess wat?! I fucked up my practical exam today... made a complete, utter fool of myself in front of my manager and my lecturer... In fact, i've never felt so incompetent in my life. Half the time i was trying to maintain my composure, while the other half i was busily trying to prevent my "patient" from falling. And of course, i dropped my "patient"... thrice!?! how stupid can i get... I absolutely have no excuse of performing the way i did... Just because my patient inclines towards the heavier category doesn't give me the reason to drop her. My partner during labs is heavier than she is... My classmates says it's okay... But at risk of sounding neurotic,
IT'S NOT OKAY!!!

I'm just so pissed... piss at the fact that i let my frustration get the better of me. thank god it's only 25%... I have to work my ass off for the upcoming paper to pull up my grade... Piece of S***...